Incoherency is good for the soul

I am back! It's very rare for me to be as happy to return home as I was this time (although there was one other trip in my life when that was also the case) but I was genuinely very happy to be back.

In part this is because - as some of you know - on my way to the airport to return from NYC I actually lost my passport on the subway (there was a mess with the trains, I had my bag with the passport next to me, had to run out of the train with my suitcase to switch to another train quickly, and when I tried to return for the small bag I watched the train doors close and the train drive off to an unknown location as it was being taken out of service). What no one on the internet knows, I think, is that I later discovered that someone stole my bag, rifled through it (it had absolutely nothing of value in it) and dumped it under a tree in Greenwich Village. But I only found that out after I was back in Israel.

So, having lost my passport, I spent a delirious day running after every person in the MTA who could help me, then trying to work it out with Delta (since I'd already checked in for the flight), even going to the airport (and my amazing sister taking off half her workday to grab my other suitcase and take it to meet me in the airport, in a taxi, just in case they let me on).

Anyway, I wasn't able to get on the flight, some tears were had, and then the rest of the day was spent feverishly trying to get my shit together to get a new passport as quickly as possible. It was on the eve of Rosh HaShana, and a weekend, so of course the consulate in NYC was closed for THREE DAYS.

Those three days of utter uncertainty, complete and utter panic from multiple sets of parents and their friends on different continents, having to update my job and various friends who wrote to welcome me back, the unexcepted logistics of three more days abroad, losing a bag that had my passport but also ALL MY MEDS in it, having to urgently problem-solve with the MTA, the police and the medical system all while having one thousand conversations a day about how I could possibly lose my passport before boarding a plane, just... the level of stress and nerves and emotional hell and utter physical exhaustion was pretty epic.

And those were supposed to be my days to rest back home before going back to work!

Anyway, those last 3 days (on the fourth the consulate finally opened, I showed up at 9am and they handed me a temporary passport good for one (1) direct flight home two hours later, and that evening I was on a plane) were so epically horrible they kind of overshadowed the trip for a bit, but in time I hope that'll recede (though having to fake being a Harry Potter fan to get through TSA despite my weird paperwork will stay with me for a long time lol).

In the three weeks before those 3 days I saw some plays (Masquerade, The Six, The Heated Rivalry Musical Parody), went to Philly for the first time ever, met fandom friends (<3333333), walked around New York in a constant state of "there's nothing to do"/"I wish I had more time to do things", met my dad's side of the family for the first time in ~15 years.

Met my half-sisters, who are no longer kids. They're both married, and one of them had a baby a few months ago, my new niece, who is very ginger (absolutely no one in my family on any side is ginger, so this was unexpected). Met my dad's wife, who I am now old enough to stop lying to myself about (she simply doesn't want me in her life no matter how "good" I attempt to be). Met my dad, which is always... a lot. Like anyone who grew up without physical access to one of their biological parents, every meeting with him means solving another mystery about something medically wrong with me lol.

I ate so much Starbucks (sandwiches and PSL!) and Dunkin's (donuts!), I miss it already.

I miss my half-sisters too, but the older I get the easier it is to bear, I guess.

Probably the funnest family memory I have from this trip is sitting on the floor of the living room of my dad's house, with my two half-sisters and my baby niece, and the niece's dad, and all of us taking turns singing songs to keep the baby entertained. The dad sang Taylor Swift songs and the Pokemon theme song. We all tried to match his elite skills lol.

I think overall, if not that clusterfuck in the end, I would have returned from this trip pretty balanced and OK and ready to get on with life.

But because of the clusterfuck I returned utterly exhausted, mentally and physically, and already "late" for work and behind on obligations.

And now, the week of hell begins. Not actual hell - in fact an extremely fun week packed with wonderful things - except I need to survive and function through all of them.

My friend who moved to Canada is back, probably the one time in the next 2 years I'll get to see her. So after a week of work tomorrow my weekend starts: I'll go see my friend in the morning, then go to rehearsals until 10pm, go home, and be back at rehearsals at 1pm the next day.

Then the work week starts, and I'll have a show every night Sunday-Wednesday.

Because I already took so much time off, I didn't take nearly enough out for the play /o\ So most days I'm supposed to be working, and then going straight from that to the theater. After a weekend of no rest, and with my propensity to get sick with that kind of schedule, and with me ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED TO BE SICK until the Wednesday show is over.

Friends keep telling me they'll meet me at the con where this play is happening, and we'll get to hang out, and I'm like - bwahahaha no we won't. No we will not. I will be either at work, backstage, on stage, or on my way home to rest. There will not be time for anything else.

Anyway. The true horrible news is that I started a The Pitt fic before I left for the US, and didn't have time to finish it, and now it's posted as a WIP and I feel like the sort of person I have never been IN MY LIFE who posted a WIP and hasn't finished/updated it in like a month. That has NEVER happened. But I'll also not have time to finish it any time soon, as you can see /o\

If you're reading this and we met in the US - thank you, it was so lovely to see you!!

I'm back. I'm baaaaaaaaack!